In Learned Optimism, Martin Seligman offers research to show that the main difference between happy, successful people and depressed, unsuccessful folks is how they deal with difficulty. Unhappy people tend to shut down in the face of a problem; happy individuals take action to solve their problems. Optimists also tend not to get mired in blaming themselves for what's wrong as pessimists do; they focus instead on solutions.
If you're not a natural optimist, you still can cultivate the mental attitudes of one-or at least tone down your negative thinking. When you find yourself getting mired in a problem, say to yourself, "I can fix this." Rather than complaining, make a list of ten things you can do to help solve the situation. For example, if you are concerned about money, here's a list of things you can do to generate more: rent a room in your house, baby-sit at night, sell your used books, sell your car, start day trading, have your child become a model, offer to barter instead of paying cash for things, pay your mortgage bimonthly, go to night school and learn a trade, grow plants and vegetables and sell them at the farmer's market. Then look at the list and see what makes the most sense. Try it.
